I am the rage that you hide from,
Unpronounced I go by your lips.
I am the pain that you skim over,
And the blood behind your tears.
I am the mistress, and the whore,
Forsaken anomaly of your fears.
Into silence I recoil,
When I find unfriendly ears.
For I have forgotten myself
In generations of boiled tears.
And I’ve rocked myself to sleep,
Broken, silent, inadequate.
Rushing through fate in vain,
I’m the failure that births kings.
But the blood that runs in my veins
Remains faithless to theodicy.
A relief that boils in rage
Is the blood that I menstruate.
The same one that bears empires;
Therefore, as empress, bless my name.
I am the mistress, and the whore,
“The devil’s gateway,” if you will.
I am the mistress, and the whore,
And everything there is between.
Let, once and for all, be unmasked,
Colonized mass, man, or mess,
That I shall submit to you
The truth of my existence.
Debunking Hermeneutics of Guilt and Shame
The story of Eve has been used as a theodicy to scapegoat women for the fall of divine consciousness and communion with divinity, culminating in Genesis 3 with the expulsion of humankind from paradise, and the emergence of dualism and mortality. The original sin, by internalizing evil in women’s bodies as has been interpreted literally by many Orthodox Christians, has served to justify the historical subjugation and unjust treatment of women in society, especially through gender roles. However, diverse movements of Unorthodox Christian philosophers such as the Gnostics, among many other free-thinkers and esoterics, have attempted to rescue the symbolic and mystic value of Genesis, transforming the narrative from one of human fall into sin to a cosmology of awakening to our true divine nature and inherent power.
From my perspective, I somewhat agree with ascetic thought that Adam and Eve were just like ‘well-behaved’ children in the Garden of Eden, obeying God’s mandates without first questioning (out of fear) and without full autonomy over themselves. God’s figure as the Father and Lord makes it very easy to see the hierarchical and imbalance of power between God and ‘his’ creation, and even more between divinity and women. Knowledge is power, and it is acquired through a series of experiences and trials. Gnostics, by allowing themselves to question the historical and more superficial interpretations of the scriptures, just as many souls on the spiritual path do, recognize Eve’s symbolic act of eating from the forbidden tree of knowledge as a spiritual initiation rite of passage. Thus, this act, often experienced negatively, becomes necessary and imminent in order to reach a developed self, and achieve a higher consciousness, which is sometimes also referred to as Christ or Unity Consciousness to the Logos, All-Mind, or the ultimate reality.
By being able to distinguish good from evil, humans become like gods themselves and no longer need any intermediaries, be them religion, idols, authority figures, or even social acceptance to connect with their inherent divinity and purpose. The more balanced the opposing and paradoxical forces within ourselves become, the easier it is to discern between what is healthy v. unhealthy for us, even at a subatomic, energetic level. One stops experiencing life through fixed, dualistic dynamics, and in doing so, new and higher dimensions of sovereignty, authenticity, light, love, and law become available.
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